On Jan 9th it will have been a year that we’ve not had Danny with us. His infectious laughter. His genuine caring for other people and his friends. But most importantly, his family.
But we go on. Sometimes in laughter. Sometimes in pain. We grind. And occasionally, we find lightness and grace.
We talk about him in the first person as if he is still here. I think we are all scared to lose him a second time from our memories.
We celebrate our grandson and daughter in law. Before, I was happy to be Grandpa Steve. To be Danny’s backup when he had to work.
Now I support our daughter-in-law. She is amazing.
But our grandson is lacking a good male model of how to be a man in the world.
During our trip to California, I had time to reflect on my goals for 2024 and beyond. I’d planned to race on a national level. Elle and I had planned to travel a lot. When not doing either of those, I’d planned to write, a lot.
But I’ve come to realize I can no longer afford to be self-centered if I expect my grandson to grow up and be the kind of man Danny was. The kind of man I aspire to be.
We joke in the military that no plan survives first contact. In this case, my plans slammed into the dual realities of taking care of my family and investing in our family’s future.
We’ll start the year with a short trip out of the country to let him experience a new people and culture. Then I’ll focus on what we can do here in Colorado and nearby Utah.
I’m on a mission and it’s one that makes me feel good. I know Danny appreciates it. I can feel his approval.
2024 La Familia